Saturday, May 31, 2008

beyond anything imaginable


Last Sunday at church, the preacher spoke and brought a tug of joy right at my heart. He said his remarkable success in everything that he has done and is doing can only be because of God's grace. Through his recital of all his accomplishments, he never hinted at anything but gratitude towards a God that created him and breathed such an adventurous life in him that everyone noticed. There was not a chord of pride in his speech and litany of his life's events. It was like God just led him to the podium and dictated all that He had gifted him: "My boy, get up and say all those things..."

The preacher spoke with burning steel and passion that clearly set him apart for His purposes:

Ephesians 3:20 (New King James Version)

20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us...


A living proof that God is able to do above and beyond anything that we can ever ask or think or imagine, Barry C. Black shared about the power that works in him, a faithful instrument of Almighty God. Barry C. Black is the 62nd Chaplain of the United States Senate. He was elected to this position on June 27, 2003, becoming the first African-American, the first Seventh-day Adventist, and the first military chaplain to hold the office of chaplain to the United States Senate. He previously served for over 27 years as a chaplain in the United States Navy, rising to the rank of Rear Admiral and ending his career as the Chief of Navy Chaplains. He officially retired from the Navy on August 15, 2003.

There is a power that works in us, according to the preacher. He stated simply, that the secret to the power is unlocked by staying humble and letting God be who God is in us. He also went on to say that we should take our problems to Jesus. It's the kind of faith that says Jesus can handle this. Lastly, he said that we ought to have a robust faith; the kind of faith that overflows from our love for God. We ought to know Him, read His love letter which is the Bible and trust in Him completely.

As I listened intently and took to heart what the preacher said, I asked myself: When have I completely and totally trusted Him? When did I honestly believe that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that I ask or think?

Admittedly, I am still a babe; not in worldly terms, but in spiritual matters.

I just went down the road back and reminisced my outdated jaunts and other dead, old days when I was not even born again. Too often I lived days and nights when I thought like the world thought, acted like the world acted, spoke like the world spoke and, obviously, carried a heart like the world did.

I did not have any gumption to give to Jesus what, ultimately, is His: My life. I did not believe enough in His being able, in His exceedingly abundantly all, in His love for me.

I repent. I give to Him what is His. I believe.

I thank You now for everything and anything that is beyond my imagination!

Note: On another event: Featured guest in the tv show, The Evidence, the host asked Barry C. Black when he first gave his life to Jesus. He said that he now daily give his life to Jesus. What a revelation to me that I could actually do the same thing!
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basically Yours

Convivially, I should attend to all the comments and e-mails that I get when I tell everyone my most private thoughts and, oh, my weaknesses even. But there is a small chance that a lot of people will bump into my own quiet place.

Simply, I don't advertise it, I don't really share it with just anyone, I don't even tell my immediate family about it. I don't even talk about what I really do on a day-to-day basis, or what, quote-unquote, achievements in the bubble-world out there I snag, or how much I do for this and that which, ideal-worldly, merits accolade and, yes, some kind of vertical trophy or something thicker than a cardboard to stuff into some Office Depot certificate frame.

So what is the purpose of this? At first it was just my way of exercise: a sort-of platform to air out what bogs my head when I think, or when I want to say something to someone close but couldn't because it's not appropos at the time or that it's simply immature to even utter, or when I feel like the flow is within me and I want God to be in the know like I am in the know of what's going on in my head, or just to be in the same page with God, because as we all know we aren't always in the same page with the Almighty. It is my own quiet place to be me - suddenly, internally, vocally, artistically, whimsically, stupidly, spiritually - from all adverbial vantage points thesaurus has already, previously factored as a word.

Besides I just am done with the ex-crap, for lack of a better noun, that came with my in-and-ex-baggage I now refer to as pride. It was the stupidity of pride and the ingenuity of embellished prejudice that prevent one's lowest self to be thrown in the air and left to be picked up by a Power stronger and higher than itself. Holding tight to a configuration of self, or the idea of self, is plain stupid in my spiffed-up notion of wisdom, which happens to be the kind that originated from my Maker.

See, I am nobody special to a lot of human beings, but I am special especially to my Maker. This alone, now, gives me peace. He knows what I am doing at all times. I don't really have to announce to Him what my heart's desires are, because He knows me inside and out. But when I blog here, when I use this platform to cry out to Him, it's as if He is right there, ready with His keyboard, ready to respond and comment, or not respond and comment, ready to understand everything I say, ready to forgive me for the foibles that I say in-between-the-lines, ready to decipher the in-between-the-lines before they even come out of here. He is ready for me at all times. He always says, I'm basically yours, my love.

Many times I ask myself: Why do I bother or not bother? Why is it that I am compelled from the deepest recesses of my heart to talk to Him? I don't even seem to exist for any other reason, but to exist for Him. But there is where I could be wrong: He made me for something and that something is so close to me now, just as far as I could stretch my arm. I could smell the purpose. I could even feel the static that creates a whizzing noise when the thin spark implodes. It is here, my purpose. Tapping on my heart, it is here. I am to do what I am supposed to do.

You know what I say to my Maker? Now I say, I am basically Yours, my Maker! Do with me what You will for me to do.

--June 11, 2008, Year of New Beginnings